The ram that beat the gun

This week rural columnist Henry McFadzien, also known as poet Hobnail Henry, shares a verse with The Ensign readers.

Should a neighbour have a few lambs before the date they’re due,
It carries a stigma and to the locals his managements under review.
The excuses are many and varied but the reason there is no doubt
There is only one way it could happen a rogue ram went walk about.

So, let’s consider the renegade ram he cost big bucks to buy,
For eleven months just eats, sleeps and in the summer flicks the flies.
But when the autumn approaches a mood change rams are prone,
Because there is build-up of the male hormone test-osterone.

Then when this happens, he has only one thing on his mind,
To go and use his natural instincts everything else he’s completely blind.
He neither eats nor sleeps just wonders round and doesn’t feel any pain
When bashing each other’s heads in, they have solid bone for brains.

He is a prisoner in the ram paddock waiting for the day of release.
Should some ewes go wandering by only causes his passion to increase.
But this year It’s my turn to explain a paddock of un-planned early lambs.
It came about shifting ewes in the autumn spied a busy sufftex ram.

Now this old guy was full in mouth and showing a bit of wear and tear
I was going to let the young ones go first and use him as a spare.
So rounded up and back to his mates went the promiscuous blighter,
Then strained the ram paddock fence ‘till I couldn’t get it any tighter.

Satisfied the problem’s solved, at night I now could sleep in peace
But next time around the ewes here he was propagating the natural increase.
To the yards this time and still trying to escape exposed what he used to do
He could jump fences with ease with the action of an Aussie Kangaroo.

I’m amazed how many lambs are born from a ram’s one or two night stand.
But the weather’s good like the early contract schedule, bonuses in the hand
And there will also be one for Christmas dinner to go with the pavlova
Now I am having second thoughts on the fate of the wiley old Casanova.